Worst....Book....Ever....

On a recent trip to the Barnes at Noble at Polaris Fashion Place (shop there, Columbus!) I was pretty bored. See, I only read a book about once every time a new Harry Potter Adventure comes out, and that's about it. I go to B&N to keep April entertained. While she was off perusing some more intellectual fare, I found myself in front of the Sci-Fi section, fully prepared to mock it's badness. I love me some sci-fi, but I just can't imagine a world where I'm sitting around reading Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Star Wars novelizations. Primarily because they're non-canonical, but also because I regularly have sex.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something so unbelievably horrifying that I stopped dead in my tracks. Dear readers, I saw this:



I sat there transfixed by the sheer majesty of its awfulness. Star Trek and X-Men...TOGETHER AT LAST! The standard thoughts went through my head: Am I dead? Is this hell? How can anyone possibly read this without the incessant hum of a Patrick Stewart Paradox going through their head?

So I bought it.

It sat on a counter in a bag until I found it last week. I've started reading it, and let me tell you, the execution is even worse than the concept. I'm in chapter 3, and it's so unbelievably awful that I want to share it with the world. As soon as I've finished this thing, I'm passing it along to a friend. I hope he'll do the same, until the entire core of humanity has read this book, and felt a part of their soul die.