Worst....Book....Ever....

On a recent trip to the Barnes at Noble at Polaris Fashion Place (shop there, Columbus!) I was pretty bored. See, I only read a book about once every time a new Harry Potter Adventure comes out, and that's about it. I go to B&N to keep April entertained. While she was off perusing some more intellectual fare, I found myself in front of the Sci-Fi section, fully prepared to mock it's badness. I love me some sci-fi, but I just can't imagine a world where I'm sitting around reading Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Star Wars novelizations. Primarily because they're non-canonical, but also because I regularly have sex.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something so unbelievably horrifying that I stopped dead in my tracks. Dear readers, I saw this:



I sat there transfixed by the sheer majesty of its awfulness. Star Trek and X-Men...TOGETHER AT LAST! The standard thoughts went through my head: Am I dead? Is this hell? How can anyone possibly read this without the incessant hum of a Patrick Stewart Paradox going through their head?

So I bought it.

It sat on a counter in a bag until I found it last week. I've started reading it, and let me tell you, the execution is even worse than the concept. I'm in chapter 3, and it's so unbelievably awful that I want to share it with the world. As soon as I've finished this thing, I'm passing it along to a friend. I hope he'll do the same, until the entire core of humanity has read this book, and felt a part of their soul die.

Yeah, yeah.....

I know. I don't blog. But I'm busy you see. New career, new town, new home, etc.

We'll explore in that order.

My new employer is much smaller than my previous employer. Somewhere in the vicinity of one-twenty third the size. This has drawbacks as well as positive attributes. The drawbacks include the abject terror of possibly being a takeover target when you have less than three weeks of tenure, as well as the realization that mistakes I make can actually have a detrimental impact on the bottom line. Positives include a CEO who knows my name (and this guy is one of those people you really want to work your ass off for) as well as the realization that successes I have can actually have a positive impact on the bottom line.

The city of Columbus is, from what I've seen, one of the great small cities in the US. All it's really missing is mass public transportation and a professional football franchise. All the other elements that make a city a place you want to call home are there: a vibrant downtown where people actually live, an economy that, being largely based on education and government, lends itself to being pretty recession proof, and what appears to be a pretty lively arts scene. And there are lot of very charming neighborhoods scattered throughout the city, such as the Victorian Village, the Short North, the Italian Village, and the German Village.

Which brings us to number three. We've just signed a lease on a new home. It's small. At somewhere in the vicinity of 900 square feet, it's probably half the size of where we were living in University City. But it includes a basement, and neither it nor the rest of house is filled with the landlord's crap, which leaves me optimistic that all of our crap will fit. And if not, I'm ready to sell what doesn't work and replace it with something that does. Or not replace it, if that's the best option. This is one of those places that might just be a little too cool for me, what with it's exposed brick walls and hardwood floors just begging for couches designed by Mies Van der Rohe. (I sat on a Barcelona sofa today. It's comfortable enough, and I think it will hold up better than the LeCorbusier sofa, based on the set I've seen in one of our attorney's offices. I'm worried about eventual sagging, though, and think that Josef Hoffmann's Cubus may hold up best of all.). In any event, I'm stoked enough to actually use the word stoked to describe my feelings.